The Foley's Been in There too Long: a song about catheters

Set to a tune from the late 18th Century. It does scan, though you might have to go through a line a couple of times to figure out the cadence.


Oh, dear, what is the matheter
Look, look, look at that catheter
Look at that Foley Catheter
It has been in there too long

The patient's chart says it was put in three days ago
Look at the poor patient's treatment plan folio
Change of the Foley the patient must undergo
It has been in there too long

Be sure to use the new Nurse driven Protocol
Witnesses need to be there for the reinstall
Seal the tubes tight so there's no urine waterfall
And do not leave it too long

Is there a need for the Foley to be there as
UTIs flourish as we all can see there so
Take it out quickly without any fanfare, cuz
This Foley doesn't belong

If there is no Foley then there is no CAUTI
No urine gath'ring in bags that look spotty and
No germs that spread through the poor patient's body and
Now fewer things can go wrong.


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